How to Achieve Donald Trump’s Presidential “Do”—Even If You’re on a Mere Mortal’s Budget
Love him or hate him, you can’t deny that Donald Trump’s hair has been the talk of the town—well, the talk of many towns, countries, and possibly alien civilizations. If you’ve ever wondered how to sculpt your own crowning glory into that iconic swirl, combover, pompadour-ish delight, you’re in luck. Today, we present a (somewhat) foolproof guide to achieving the signature hair that’s nearly as famous as the man himself.
Disclaimer: This is a lighthearted, satirical take on a political figure’s hairstyle. No golden combs were harmed in the making of this article.
1. Start with a Strong Foundation (of Hair)
Donald Trump’s hair has volume—whether from nature, nurture, or supernatural forces is still up for debate. You’ll need a decent hair length on top, especially at the front and crown.
Pro Tip: If your locks are on the shorter side, begin a months-long “Hair-Grow-a-Thon.” Bonus points if you regularly remind friends you’re aspiring to be the next hair icon.
2. Choose Your Tools: Hairspray, Gel, and an Industrial-Strength Blow Dryer
Ever tried to keep a cotton candy sculpture intact in a hurricane? That’s essentially the engineering challenge you’re up against.
Hairspray: Opt for a freeze-hold variety. You want your hair to survive wind, rain, and the occasional intense press conference.
Gel or Mousse: For that initial volume boost. A golf ball-sized dollop (or four) should do.
Blow Dryer (Turbo Mode Required): The more powerful, the better. Imagine your hair as a piece of living origami.
3. Establish the Comb-Over “Base Camp”
One might argue that the Trump style is less a hairstyle and more a strategic maneuver of hair across the scalp. Identify your strongest side—left or right—and start brushing from that side over the top of your head.
Technique: Gently coax the hair from one ear toward the other, forming a roof-like canopy for your scalp. Think “bridge building,” not “barricade.”
4. Inflate, Sculpt, and Spray into Oblivion
Now comes the artistry. Using your blow dryer on high heat (or the sun’s core, if available), direct the flow upward and outward to create a voluminous wave.
Timing is Everything: As soon as the wave is at its highest peak, unleash the freeze-hold hairspray in short, controlled bursts. Aim to lock in that shape before gravity catches on.
5. Add the Signature Swirl (Optional)
For the full effect, some claim there’s a slight swirl or twist near the front hairline—like a vortex of ambition and confidence.
Swirl Formation: Use a small round brush and your blow dryer to coax a gentle twist. Gently swirl inward like you’re stirring a pot of hair soup. Once again, drown it in hairspray.
6. Final Inspection: The Mirror Test
When you’re satisfied you can survive hurricane-force winds without dislodging a single strand, it’s time to face the mirror.
Check from Multiple Angles: Make sure no random pieces are sticking out awkwardly at the back. If a gust of air escapes from behind, you risk losing the entire “roof.”
Q&A
Q: Can I tone it down if I don’t want it quite so…er…dramatic?
A: Absolutely! Just reduce the hairspray by half. You’ll still have volume, but fewer sideways glances at the supermarket.
Q: Will this work on curly or textured hair?
A: Technically, yes—but taming curls into a Trump-esque shape may require extra patience, heavier product, and possibly a written apology to your hair afterward.
Additional Tips and Warnings
Embrace the Confidence: Part of the Trump hair mystique lies in wearing it with unwavering self-assurance. If you’re going big, commit to it.
Avoid Open Flames: Hairspray + blow dryer + flammable product = not a good combination near candles or lighter fluid.
Humidity is the Enemy: Keep a travel-sized hairspray on hand for emergency touch-ups.
Final Thoughts
Whether you view Donald Trump’s hairstyle as a marvel of modern science or a gravity-defying statement, there’s no denying its iconic status. If you’re brave enough to give it a shot, gather your courage (and your styling products) and create a swirl that could rival the breeziest political rally.
Remember: If all else fails, a well-placed baseball cap might just be the most cost-effective solution for a hair emergency.
Read More From The Skin Sophisticate
